Road Rage

 

There I was about to take my chance and cross lanes when the guy in front of me changes into 007 and flys across to the exit.  What the???  Wow, it turns out that we were both trying to get to that exit.

“What happened buddy, did you not remember where you were going?  Did seeing my indicator in your rear view mirror jog your memory at the last moment?”

Road rage:  Violent anger caused by the stress and frustration involved in driving a motor vehicle. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Schizophrenia

It's Election Day, it’s snowing outside, and the land is blessed.  I've voted for the same promises as the last time, because I still want what I voted for.  I hope you voted too and that this election convinces you that I was not misled four years ago.  Will you take the high road, now?  That’s where the loser must travel to honestly try and find something to like about the winners choice, it’s where he changes himself from a loser into a patriot.

“Please find an attitude of hope and the true understanding of the words better luck next time.”

SCHIZOPHRENIA:  A LONG-TERM MENTAL DISORDER OF A TYPE INVOLVING A BREAKDOWN IN THE RELATION BETWEEN THOUGHT, EMOTION AND BEHAVIOR, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation. ~~The Oxford College Dictionary

 

Welfare

Just because I asked you for some money, you have to tell me some lies.  We are friends you know who you are.  Yes, you once bought me a pants and a sweater.  How will I ever forget with your constant reminders?  Did I find a job today?  No!

"You are acting like a horses ass!"

WELFARE-TO-WORK:  DENOTING GOVERNMENT POLICIES THAT ENCOURAGE THOSE RECEIVING WELFARE BENEFITS TO FIND A JOB, for example by providing job training. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary.

Closure

Jay Patel

I want to let go of someone dear to me, who does not feel that way about me.

“He makes me feel like a stalker with a healthy perspective; a doormat.”

CLOSURE:  AN ACT OR PROCESS OF CLOSING SOMETHING, ESP. AN INSTITUTION, THOROUGHFARE, OR FRONTIER, or being closed. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary.

Perspective

The happy witch

How can I explain to the bill collector about the high cost of children Halloween costumes? I can’t even explain to myself why I paid for them.

“Oh God Halloween is here and it really is evil.”

PERSPECTIVE:  A PARTICULAR ATTITUDE TOWARD OR WAY OF REGARDING SOMETHING; a point of view. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary.

 



 

Cherub

Cute

"Oh look mom it's a bull dog! Good, I’m not wearing red, ok."  My four year old son was given to me by God just to make me happy and to let me see the world in its most simple form.

"Laughing out loud"

CHERUB:  A BEAUTIFUL OR INNOCENT LOOKING CHILD. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary.

The flu

 

I’ve been sick for the past week coughing all night long and in the mornings my throat.

"I feel like a fire belching fiend."

INFLUENZA:  A CONTAGIOUS VIRAL INFECTION OF THE RESPIRATORY PASSAGES causing fever, severe aching, and catarrh. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary.

  

Youth

ggarr.org

I’ve been trying to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes.  These days I get angry every time someone at a service window tries to be polite to me.  “They keep calling me ma'am. My daughter is only 11.”

“Why am I so bothered about getting older?"

YOUTH: AN EARLY STAGE in the development of something. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

New to who?

popsci.com

After 24 years my parents are getting back together!  It's like something you see on the lifetime channel, something so totally unbelievable you want to believe it.  I needed to speak with someone so I told a friend.  He said that I should be happy; that if his parents got back together, it would make him happy.

"Why couldn’t they just leave it alone, who will help me pick up the pieces?"

NEW: NOT EXISTING BEFORE, MADE, INTRODUCED, OR DISCOVERED RECENTLY or now for the first time: ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

User



I went to the store this morning and had a "like really and on a Monday?" moment.  This puff of a woman comes pushing up behind of me asking are you in line?  No I’m here to block you.  Why don't you go get a cart and shut up all of that ugly body language?  It is not my fault that your arms are full and there are only two things in my cart.

And stop standing so close to me.

USER: THE CONTINUED USE OR ENJOYMENT OF a right. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

 

Family

When all is said and done.

I have a house guest who will not get out of bed before 12pm.  I have dropped hints and offered advice, all with temporary results.  I feel like I am being taken advantage of.

Get up or get out!

FAMILY:  A PERSON OR PEOPLE RELATED TO ONE and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Labor Day

Collaredkingfishermale_fiji.jpg

The Quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor. ~~ Vince Lombardi 

LABOR DAY:  A PUBLIC HOLIDAY OR DAY OF FESTIVITIES HELD IN HONOR OF WORKING PEOPLE, in the US and Canada on the first Monday in September, in many other countries on May 1. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Blind

news.nationalgeographic.com

This week while taking the smaller kids to school and signing my oldest into middle school I realized something.  Our kids are going to be just like us.  Often the parts of us that we don’t recognize.  We keep saying to them be who you want to be.

THEY KEEP SEEING US AS WE ARE.

BLIND:  UNWILLING OR UNABLE TO APPRECIATE OR NOTICE SOMETHING APPARENT to others. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Harvest



fineartamerica.com

Is it alright to steal tomatoes?  Is it ok for someone to take the first fruits of my labor?  I feel violated, despite the fact that it is only tomatoes.  Every time I pass my neighbors in the yard or building our conversations are not the same I am not the same and the Questions at the back of my mind remain.  ARE YOU THE ONE?  How does vine ripened big boy tomatoes taste?

Only tomatoes,

HARVEST:  GAIN (SOMETHING) as the result of an action. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Freedom of space

freakingkid.com

They discovered a new planet and called it Tyche.  This is all very exciting but how will that name fit into the planets song that I have already taught the kids? And the posters, what the hell?

Planet Tyche

FREEDOM:  THE STATE OF BEING PHYSICALLY UNRESTRICTED AND ABLE to move easily. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Environment

amazingatwoz.blogspot.com

I have started to exercise again.

ENVIRONMENT:  THE SURROUNDINGS OR CONDITIONS IN WHICH A PERSON, ANIMAL, OR PLANT LIVES or operates. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Children




bigpicture.in

 

When I get lost in my realities, I know that I cannot relate.

CHILD:  A YOUNG HUMAN BEING BELOW THE AGE OF FULL PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT or below the legal age of majority. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary



The Big Apple

justice.gov

School is about to start summer is almost over and I still haven't lost a pound.   My friend was fasting for the month of Ramadan and he lost a lot of weight.   If he can do that for a month I can do it for a week.  Today is my second day of fasting.  I feel so weak, I have been planning dinner all day.

6:00 o clock is important.  Only 4 more hours to go.

BIG:  OF CONSIDERABLE SIZE, EXTENT, or intensity ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Reactor

money.cnn.com

I saw an old boyfriend on line today and I added him.  He told me off and deleted me. 

I WANTED TO DO THAT.  Now I am feeling angry and hurt.  He has ruined my day.

NUCLEAR REACTOR:  AN APPARATUS OR STRUCTURE IN WHICH FISSILE MATERIAL CAN BE MADE TO UNDERGO A CONTROLLED, SELF-SUSTAINING NUCLEAR REACTION with the consequent release of energy. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Bravissimo

colorlines.com

Some days, my world spins out of my control, I have to stand still with my eyes close until I am balanced.  I keep missing the whole point, some days. 

Don’t be afraid of the spin.

BRAVISSIMO:  USED TO EXPRESS GREAT APPROVAL OF A PERFORMANCE or performer. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Beautiful

aol.sportingnews.com

Olympians are great composers of their own bodies.

A Bach, a Beethoven, a Brahms, a Chopin, a Handel, a Mozart, a Tchaikovsky, I hear music in their movements when I sit and watch the Olympic competitions.

BEAUTIFUL:  OF A VERY HIGH STANDARD; excellent. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Ambition

dailymail.co.uk

I cleaned up the kids toy room today, OMG.

I really did it.

AMBITION:  A STRONG DESIRE TO DO OR TO ACHIEVE SOMETHING, typically requiring determination and hard work. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Love

somekillerstories.com

I went to the park this morning and the tall trees were singing.

I must be happy.

LOVE:  AN INTENSE FEELING of deep affection.  ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Pump

do-while.com

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe; she had so much time on her hands look at what she decided to do.

I love this!

PUMP:  A WOMANS PLAIN, LIGHTWEIGHT SHOE THAT HAS A LOW-CUT UPPER, and typically a medium heel. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Optimism

photography.nationalgeographic.com

Lies and liars why do we keep it up?  I sometimes lie to make myself look good or to get out of doing something that I should just say no to.  Lately I’ve found myself lying to spare the feeling of others, even when it doesn’t make me look good.  I think I have grown spiritually,

into a big NICE liar?

OPTIMISM:  HOPEFULNESS AND CONFIDENCE ABOUT THE FUTURE or the successful outcome of something. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Vacation

fineartamerica.com

I am leaving with my daughter for St. Maarten on Saturday.  The salt water will be good for me. 

If happiness is on a beach in the Caribbean I need to have a talk with her about coming back home.

I have to shave.

VACATION:  AN EXTENDED PERIOD OF RECREATION, esp. one spent away from home or in traveling. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Time out

mymodernmet.com

My Four year old niece Olivia worries and fascinates me. She had an accident today and was crying her heart out as she told her mother what had happen to her and her play playmate. “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT” she wailed “I was telling him that he shouldn’t throw someone else’s toy and it happened."

I bite his nose by accident.

TIME OUT: AN IMPOSED TEMPORARY SUSPENSION OF ACTIVITIES, esp. the separation of a misbehaving child from one or more playmates as a disciplinary measure. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Bastard!



Cali Lewis

Change your thoughts and change your world. #Norman Vincent Peale

BASTARD:  A DIFFICULT OR AWKWARD THING, UNDERTAKING, or situation. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Wild



ngm.nationalgeographic.com

When the kids are playing in the back yard on their bikes and tricycles, the sounds they make are always beautiful.  My four year old niece is shouting with joy that she is winning.  Now my nephew is screaming that he is winning.  Then she throws a tantrum, and breaks his heart to tears by shouting; “you are not the winner, this is not a race."

Olivia, just because you are not winning doesn't mean it is not a race!

WILD:  UNCONTROLLED OR UNRESTRAINED, esp. in pursuit of pleasure. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Adoption



pedigree.com

 It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life,, that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. # Ralph Waldo Emerson
ADOPT:  LEGALLY TAKE ANOTHER'S CHILD AND BRING IT UP AS ONE'S OWN. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Linked

grandhaventribune.com

I was sitting in the waiting room at my last job interview two days ago, with another lady who was shaking from nerves.  In walks the interviewer a neat looking man with a nice brown file folder in hand.  He looks at us, has an epiphany, and does a 360 and leaves.  It was like God wanted him to be someplace else.  Ten minutes later Tina, holding the same file folder and obviously not an interviewer, walks in and she does the interviews.

Why do I feel so bad for the shaking woman?

LINK:  A SOCIAL OR PROFESSIONAL CONNECTION BETWEEN PEOPLE or organizations. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Gangs

collegescholarships.org

My daughter and her friends have clogged the bathroom sink again.  What fell in?  Who did it?  WE DON’T KNOW!  Ok, what do you think might have fallen in?  Did Princess Merida, Princess Tiana or maybe Barbie, drop a shoe, a swimsuit, maybe a brush?

No!

GANG:  AN ORGANIZED GROUP of criminals. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Games



dumage.com

My brother thinks the new world order brought in by an organization called the illuminati is here.  He called me last night, to share new information based on the fact that Obama had got the health care bill passed.  The next step in their diabolical plan is to set into action the no chip, no health-care clause.  They will place a chip in your forehead (the mark) or your arm.  We were really upset by all this. 

Wouldn’t you have to stand still Alex?

GAMESMANSHIP:  THE ART OF WINNING GAMES BY USING VARIOUS PLOYS AND TACTICS TO GAIN a psychological advantage. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Power

pagog.com

Last week a woman got on the bus with a toddler and a half closed stroller.  She somehow managed to hold up the line while paying her fare.  The courteous bus driver took this time to tell her about the bus rule she was breaking. “Baby carts must be closed before getting onto the bus”.  LOL I could just picture her running down the street after her kid while we drive off in the bus.

Does he think she’s never been in his bus before?

POWER:  THE CAPACITY OR ABILITY TO DIRECT OR INFLUENCE THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS or the course of events. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Balance

squiddity.blogspot.com

My good friend Daniela has invited me on another expensive family outing.  She insists that I not worry about the cost and simply pay her back when I get a job.  I refused.  She is angry and has promised never to invite me out again.  Why is she so angry?

I hope she keeps her promise this time.

BALANCED:  (OF AN ACCOUNT OR BUDGET) having debits and credits equal.. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Submission



animals.nationalgeographic.com

Family members are so easily offended.  “Why can’t you baby sit for me it’s not like you are doing anything else?”  I can’t do that for you, not today.  Can you just accept no without making me into an immediate Bitch?  No I can't give you my money.  NO you can't stay here.

Yes, I am selfish.

SUBMISSION:  THE ACTION OR FACT OF ACCEPTING OR YIELDING TO A SUPERIOR FORCE or to the will or authority of another person. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Politics

field.io

Who will you vote for?  My ex-husband is voting for Mitch. Says, Mitch will lead us out of the mess that we find ourselves faced with today.  I tell him, Barrack says the same thing, I am voting for Barrack.

I guess we are truly parted now.

POLITICS:  ACTIVITIES WITHIN AN ORGANIZATION THAT ARE AIMED AT IMPROVING SOMEONE’S STATUS OR POSITION and are typically considered to be devious or divisive. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Intercourse

bigpicture.in

Dear Mom,

I miss you and hope that all is well with you. I think about you often and hope that you are not lonely or in poor health. I am happy but unproductive in jobs. I have been writing on the internet. I will make a living that way, I just have to stay focused.  Please take care of yourself.

I love you with all my heart. 

Astrid

 

INTERCOURSE:  COMMUNICATION OR DEALINGS BETWEEN INDIVIDUALS OR GROUPS; everyday social intercourse. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

 

God



theurbandaily.com

I went to church yesterday.  I was searching for something.  So was the preschooler, sitting a little distance from me.  He was looking all around and up at the ceiling.  Then when he obviously could not find what he was looking for, I heard him ask his mom. Where is God?  She looked at him, looked away and back again.  She was trying hard to hide her shock.

I was trying not to gape.

GOD: THE CREATOR AND RULER OF THE UNIVERSE AND SOURCE OF ALL MORAL AUTHORITY, the Supreme Being. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Neighbors

apartmenttherapy.com

I didn’t like the people across the street.  But yesterday after meeting the wife and talking to her for a while, it turns out that she is very nice.  We have become fast friends.  I wish I had not spent the whole winter hating her and thinking that she was a stock up B in her nicely decorated house.  They are having a pool put in.

NEIGHBOR:  A PERSON LIVING NEAR OR NEXT DOOR TO THE SPEAKER or person referred to. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary 

Mistake

superbthink.blogspot.com

My best friend broke up and made up with her boyfriend in a matter of four days.  She is angry with me for judging her.  He is angry with me for all the bad things he has heard that I say about him.  She is angry with my boyfriend for keeping things about her boyfriend from her.  Her boyfriend is mad at my boyfriend for telling.  My boyfriend is mad at me for having a big mouth. 

I feel so hurt!

MISTAKE:  AN ACTION OR GUDGEMENT THAT IS MISGUIDED or wrong.  ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Shock

pixartimes.com

My daughter just had her eleventh birthday and she requested for her gift, the new Disney Brave Doll.  My friend asked if he could get her that present and I agreed.  We went to the store and when he saw the requested toy, he got the look.

He denied it but I know the look!

SHOCK: A SUDDEN UPSETTING OR SURPRISING EVENT or experience. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Tight



ucl.ac.uk

The recommended action plan.   I bought a minivan a few years back.  Every time I go into Toyota to get my car serviced, I want to hit my head against a wall for getting this big beautiful car.

TIGHT: FIXED, OR CLOSED FIRMLY; Hard to move, undo, or open. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Child support

birdsasart-blog.com

My ex-husband came by he thinks that I am living well.  He is having money problems, again.  Bills have just taken over his life since I left bills and obligations.  These days he hardly ever eats.

OMG!  The price of electronic man toys have gone up.


CHILD SUPPORT: COURT ORDERED PAYMENTS, TYPICALLY MADE BY A NONCUSTODIAL DIVORCED PARENT, to support one’s minor child or children. ~~The Oxford College Dictionary

Soulmate



article.wn.com

I went looking for love again last night, I visited three different sites and saw the same trolls.  They saw me too.  The most honest pick up line of the night was; I am in a relationship but we can hook up if you don’t mind.

Oh but I do mind, I MIND!

SOULMATE: A PERSON IDEALLY SUITED TO ANOTHER as a close friend or romantic partner.      ~~The Oxford College Dictionary

Rent due

Repinned from Amazing Pictures by Lina dePinner

Those MFs want money again. My landlord is coming by just to say hi everyday.

Does he think that I have forgotten?
Every so often (ok once a month) I consider what it would be like to have some money in my pocket and no roof over my head.

RENT: A TENANT'S REGULAR PAYMENT TO A LANDLORD for the use of property or land. ~~The Oxford College Dictionary

Unemployment Compensation

It is time to go to the employment office.  Time to explain my search, my failure; this is like biting nails for me.  Maybe they will have me do another workshop to make me more employable.  The workshops always give me a boost.  I just wished that they worked. Ha, that is funny, "working workshops"

My state of unemployment is shocking me.  Is yours?

UNEMPLOYMENT COMPENSATION: MONEY THAT SUBSTITUTES FOR WAGES OR SALARY, Paid to recently unemployed workers under a government or union run program. ~~ The Oxford College Dictionary

Food Stamps



Salar de Uyuni Stupidity | Bolivia (by mansszat)

Yesterday I was in the supermarket and I was almost shocked into laughing out loud.

However, the man was in the line behind of me.
The gentleman, who obviously missed his calling on Wall Street, was walking through the aisles talking loudly on his cell phone about: “Yes she is selling hers for 50 cents on the dollar but I think I can do better than that, I will buy at 25 cents on the dollar."  Is he mad? Is she? Have we all gone mad?

FOOD STAMP: A VOUCHER ISSUED BY THE GOVERNMENT TO THOSE ON LOW INCOME, exchangeable for food. ~~The Oxford College Dictionary